[FunFriendsForever] Bored @ Lamont, the world and Internet in general

Young people do not capitalize and punctuate enough! I guess this is a

difficult thing to bring up, since some of us do not always capitalize

or punctuate, which is fine,* but I do always enjoy seeing a young

person who likes to use the English language rather than a clumsy,

ephemeral, and disposable pidgin cobbled together by Blade Runner fans

in an argument over Halo, which is exactly what you're doing whenever

you fail to capitalize sufficiently.

These are the people who say the words "back slash" when trying to tell

you about forward slashes.

Anyways, I think young people should be made to use English properly at

least part of the time, and I don't think that they should regard

punctuation and capital letters as being things that you are forced to

use in the course of doing business but that have no place at home,

much as one might happily take a necktie off after a rough day at the

office. I think young people are mostly full of shit, and the

decreasing willingness to speak English is a sign of this.

Counterpoint: I only use capital letters and punctuation because of an

emotional problem akin to OCD rather than an intellectual problem akin

to liking science. True. Although, secondary to my emotional problems

(which, if you think I'm goofin' on you, I get really disturbed when I

punctuate poorly and start to panic, and if, say, you were to unplug my

keyboard right after an embarrassing typo, I would start to cry and

freak out like a mentally retarded person), I do also view issues of

usage and grammar as being worthy topics of intellectual pursuit.

Have you reached this point in my message? I have hilariously tricked

you by complaining about minor issues of style and usage while at the

same time writing a shapeless and ultimately pointless piece of what

could be termed "prose" whose ostensible didactic or rhetorical point

is so unfounded as to be impossible to undermine, in the same way that

you cannot cut water. It is an amorphous mass of nonsense. Still, look

at all those capital letters and periods! That's pretty shit! That's

mighty pretty shit!