Some favorite tweets

Read through a bunch of these today and laughed many times, I highly recommend a review of this body of work. Better when each is accompanied by the avatar.

Google image results for Romanian tennis star Simona Halep focus on her career prior to her breast reduction surgery.

#NewYorkMarbleCemetery open today. One child in Spider-Man costume. One accordionist.

I'm enjoying this Boston Kreme Donut less now that I noticed its resemblance to a poop and ejaculate donut. Oh well.

My researches have led me to create the file 'harrypotterdata.py' so that I can crunch the numbers better. Saturday night!

Jesus Christ, I just had to explain to the comic shop clerks who Jim Woodring is. We ain't in Cambridge, Toto.

Something in the air this weekend tells me I'm going to spend $100 on Beverly Cleary ebooks.

There are rumors that Pedro Martínez used Normal Sizedness Normalizing Drugs.

Guess whether the hospital in Newark is nice.

Does anyone in Brooklyn want a pile of saline syringes and other unused medical supplies? Dig through everyone's trash until you find mine.

I want to tell my landlord I'm moving, but I'm going to wait until he's not literally roaring drunk in the middle of the afternoon.

Skitching off of rickshaws signifies that the Karate Kid is finding a place for himself in China.

Did anybody lose a ham? One just fisted me while I was watching the beginning of the Karate Kid remake.

Among those Wikipedia lists as having been influenced by H. Jon Benjamin is Billy Ray Cyrus.

While reading through my Yipit offers, I got a solicitation from Señorita Margarita's Maracas. Guess, reader, what kind of food they serve.

Indeed, IV nurse. As you say, many films are set in Boston.

Once, there was made something called Pizza Crunchabungas.

If the next Alvin and the Chipmunks film comes out on Halloween and features classic Universal monsters, someone stole my dream last night.

Do people give a shit about the show Moonlighting? It seems more or less the same as anything else.

Calm down, Wikipedia plot summary of The Rocketeer, and be shorter - like, two paragraphs long.

Van Cliburn appeared as himself in "Silence My Companion, Death My Destination," an episode of the cartoon Iron Man.

Had a dream last night (a nightmare?) that something went wrong and webhad to use Hotline Connect for file sharing.

I like when I have to recover a password from some crap web site like LinkedIn I haven't visited in years and the password is "butthole."

Dear Wes Anderson, only the genera name is capitalized, not the species name, you rotten stupid fucker.

Flock of sparrows in the back yard. I like to imagine a map from Nunavut to Argentina with a star on my house.

Things I've recently seen on the History Channel: a documentary about Zeus, two documentaries about Star Wars, instructions on sword use.

The Skip Gates thing. #boringthings

I had forgotten that the last episode of Webster, "Webtrek," was about Webster traveling to the future and meeting Worf. That's weird.

Every year that goes by without adult-sized underoos of 80s kid culture characters is another eight jillion dollars some moron isn't making.

Classic child-scarer The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985) was released in the UK as Comet Quest. Are the English dumb?

@widdikombe Change your name to K-19_the_Widdimaker.

Me: [hands over tubes of urine and blood] Nurse: Thank you!

Elroy Jetson's teacher is named Miss Brainknocker.