from Sean Boyland
date Sat, Dec 10, 2005 at 2:56 PM
In the role of Jerry Orbach: Sam Waterston, natch.
Upon review of classic Seinfeld "The Library": to play the role of Sam Waterston: Philip Baker Hall.
from Sean Boyland
date Sat, Dec 10, 2005 at 4:47 PM
You mean you've never been fishing? Mr. Adventure?
JERRY
Come on... my idea of an adventure is riding a cab without my seatbelt on.
SAM
You should try it... you might like it.
JERRY
Am I to take it that you're a fisherman?
SAM
As a matter of fact, I'm going to a little spot I know in Freeport this weekend. You interested?
JERRY
(twinkles)
Hmm... I'm not going to have to wear a hat with feathers in it, am I?
SAM
Not unless that's what you usually do with your weekends.
JERRY
All right, it's a date.
Sam smirks.
JERRY
But you're paying for dinner if you want me to put out.
from Sean Boyland
date Sat, Dec 10, 2005 at 7:20 PM
INT TRAILER NIGHT
Jerry folds his tie neatly. TEMPLETON, a PA, folds his jacket.
TEMPLETON
Hey, that's a nice watch, Jerry!
JERRY
(gracious)
Well, thank you very much, Templeton. It was actually a birthday gift from Epatha.
TEMPLETON
(ungracious)
Oh... really. She must have wanted you to have some "bling." Well, nice bling, Jerry.
JERRY
You have something you'd like to say, Templeton?
TEMPLETON
Well, you know Epatha... and her... they're a bit dumb, huh?
JERRY
(closes on Templeton)
All right, you listen to me - if you want to know something about Epatha, or Jesse, or me, or anyone else, then why don't you get to know us, huh? I've got no time for your kind of garbage, get it?
TEMPLETON
Hey, I didn't know you...
JERRY
No, you didn't know, you bum! You didn't know a thing!
TEMPLETON
Take it easy, Mr. Orbach!
JERRY
I won't take a damn thing easy from you, pal! I don't like you, I don't like your talk, and like I said, I don't like you!
Jerry pokes Templeton in the chest.
TEMPLETON
Whoa...
JERRY
Can't take a hint, can you? Well here's a big one for you - get the hell out of my trailer!
Templeton stumbles out. Jerry shakes his head, pissed off, and looks in the mirror. He fingers his watch. He chuckles.
JERRY
You're damned right it's a nice watch, you punk.
Jerry folds his tie neatly. TEMPLETON, a PA, folds his jacket.
TEMPLETON
Hey, that's a nice watch, Jerry!
JERRY
(gracious)
Well, thank you very much, Templeton. It was actually a birthday gift from Epatha.
TEMPLETON
(ungracious)
Oh... really. She must have wanted you to have some "bling." Well, nice bling, Jerry.
JERRY
You have something you'd like to say, Templeton?
TEMPLETON
Well, you know Epatha... and her... they're a bit dumb, huh?
JERRY
(closes on Templeton)
All right, you listen to me - if you want to know something about Epatha, or Jesse, or me, or anyone else, then why don't you get to know us, huh? I've got no time for your kind of garbage, get it?
TEMPLETON
Hey, I didn't know you...
JERRY
No, you didn't know, you bum! You didn't know a thing!
TEMPLETON
Take it easy, Mr. Orbach!
JERRY
I won't take a damn thing easy from you, pal! I don't like you, I don't like your talk, and like I said, I don't like you!
Jerry pokes Templeton in the chest.
TEMPLETON
Whoa...
JERRY
Can't take a hint, can you? Well here's a big one for you - get the hell out of my trailer!
Templeton stumbles out. Jerry shakes his head, pissed off, and looks in the mirror. He fingers his watch. He chuckles.
JERRY
You're damned right it's a nice watch, you punk.
from Sean Boyland
date Sat, Dec 10, 2005 at 7:21 PM
Brainstorm: Wayne Knight and Mandel as a pair of psychic twins.
from Sean Boyland
date Sun, Dec 11, 2005 at 1:54 AM
BEN
Jerry, please. We all know this is a big 'sode. But you don't have to drink, just for the 'sode!
JERRY
Whaddayou know? Whaddayou know about Lenny?
BEN
Jerry, I know a lot about Lenny. I know Lenny is Rey's friend. I know Lenny is my friend. Period.
JERRY
Look, Rey... I mean... Ben... oh, shit...
BEN
Jerry, I need you to stop for a second. I need you to...
JERRY
Oh, Ben, can't you see it's all bullshit? This whole damn... it's all bullshit, is what it is!
BEN
It's not bullishit, and you know it!
Jill and Steven step forward.
JILL
He's right, Jerry. It's not bullshit.
STEVEN
It's not, Jerry. It's not bullshit.
JERRY
No, it's all bullshit! All of it! Can't you see Lenny?
STEVEN
Jerry - we don't care about Lenny, we care about Jerry.
BEN
That's exactly it, Jerry - we all love Lenny, but we love Jerry more.
Jerry sits down in front of his mirror and gives it a good hard look.
JILL
Jerry, Claire's about to die - you know that. Claire's going to die tonight. Will I still be there, Jerry? After Claire dies?
JERRY
Of... of course, Jill! You're still here! You're always still here!
JILL
That's right! And where's Jerry after this awful episode is through?
JERRY
I'm.. I'm here! I'm here, Jill! Steven... Ben ! Ben! You know I'm here.
BEN
That's right, Jerry. I know you're here. But how about you give us that bottle of scotch, just so as we know you're still here.
JERRY
Oh... oh, what have I done?
Jerry surrenders his bottle of delicious scotch.
JERRY
I don't think I... I never...
Jerry starts to cry.
JERRY
I wish Sam were here! Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just wish Sam were here so much!
STEVEN
Hey, Jerry. Where do you think Sam is right now? Do you think he's not crying his damn eyes out in his trailer, right now, for you?
Jerry cries profusely.
CUT TO:
INT SAM'S TRAILER - NIGHT
Sam head down on his desk, crying his damn eyes out.
SAM
Oh, please, God, please, just let Jerry be okay! Please!
Jerry, please. We all know this is a big 'sode. But you don't have to drink, just for the 'sode!
JERRY
Whaddayou know? Whaddayou know about Lenny?
BEN
Jerry, I know a lot about Lenny. I know Lenny is Rey's friend. I know Lenny is my friend. Period.
JERRY
Look, Rey... I mean... Ben... oh, shit...
BEN
Jerry, I need you to stop for a second. I need you to...
JERRY
Oh, Ben, can't you see it's all bullshit? This whole damn... it's all bullshit, is what it is!
BEN
It's not bullishit, and you know it!
Jill and Steven step forward.
JILL
He's right, Jerry. It's not bullshit.
STEVEN
It's not, Jerry. It's not bullshit.
JERRY
No, it's all bullshit! All of it! Can't you see Lenny?
STEVEN
Jerry - we don't care about Lenny, we care about Jerry.
BEN
That's exactly it, Jerry - we all love Lenny, but we love Jerry more.
Jerry sits down in front of his mirror and gives it a good hard look.
JILL
Jerry, Claire's about to die - you know that. Claire's going to die tonight. Will I still be there, Jerry? After Claire dies?
JERRY
Of... of course, Jill! You're still here! You're always still here!
JILL
That's right! And where's Jerry after this awful episode is through?
JERRY
I'm.. I'm here! I'm here, Jill! Steven... Ben ! Ben! You know I'm here.
BEN
That's right, Jerry. I know you're here. But how about you give us that bottle of scotch, just so as we know you're still here.
JERRY
Oh... oh, what have I done?
Jerry surrenders his bottle of delicious scotch.
JERRY
I don't think I... I never...
Jerry starts to cry.
JERRY
I wish Sam were here! Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just wish Sam were here so much!
STEVEN
Hey, Jerry. Where do you think Sam is right now? Do you think he's not crying his damn eyes out in his trailer, right now, for you?
Jerry cries profusely.
CUT TO:
INT SAM'S TRAILER - NIGHT
Sam head down on his desk, crying his damn eyes out.
SAM
Oh, please, God, please, just let Jerry be okay! Please!
from Sean Boyland
date Sun, Dec 11, 2005 at 1:56 AM
Ben and Jerry hug profusely. No humorous reference is possible, given their hugging, so big is it.
from Sean Boyland
date Sun, Dec 11, 2005 at 2:10 AM
EXT THE SET OF "LAW AND ORDER 'GUN SHOW'" - DAY
On a "take five," Jesse approaches Jerry.
JESSE
Well, Mr. Orbach, I just have to say... it's... boy, it's just a real pleasure to be working with you, that's it. I'm sorry if...
JERRY
You're not sorry for a damn thing, kid! It's a real pleasure to be working with you.
JESSE
Oh, wow. I don't know what to say. I mean, I know that you and Ben were...
JERRY
(points to his heart)
You see this, kid? That's where Ben is - forever! But you know something? I spoke to my heart, after Ben left - I asked it, is there room for one more? You know what it said, Jesse?
JESSE
... What did it say?
JERRY
(points to a different part of his heart)
It said there's room for one more, right here. You wanna know something? You're there, right now.
Jesse tries to smile and starts to cry. Jerry starts to cry. They look each other in the eye. Jesse opens his arms. That's what Jerry was waiting for. They hug, hard, like men do. Jesse cries right into Jerry's trenchcoat.
JESSE
I love you, Jerry!
JERRY
I love you, too, kid, but you gotta buy me dinner if you want me to put out.
They both laugh.
No comments:
Post a Comment