Saturday, October 29, 2011


Sean: I guess I might say that when it comes to the sexuality of two-digit numbers, 69 is number 1

me: 33

Sean: 33 is very sexual.

me: oh my


Sean: 34 is less sexual than 33

me: part of the 4 goes right into the 3

a 5 looks like a ball and penis


a 6 does moreso

Sean: A 9 shares many qualities with 6.

me: very interesting

Sean: ۩


That's what it looks like when a man gets a boner with a man on his left who has a flex-boner.

me: 32

that is a snake biting a boob

Sean: Or a butt.

See, when I see a 3, I'm thinking about butts right away.

me: fair enough

Sean: I hardly ever think of boobs in a sexual way or otherwise.

me: I can't see that

Sean: What are you supposed to do with them?

me: I usually use them to hold together the bread on a sandwich

while you put the ingredients in

Sean: So together but slightly apart?

With enough room for ingredients to go in, but producing enough pressure to keep the ingredients in place once they're inserted?

You're right, that is the approximate pressure vector of boobs and an ideal way to make sandwiches.

me: I know what I'm talking about

Sean: What number is that?

I guess it's the number 3=

me: yup

Sean: If you ever meet someone whose address is 269, say in a loud voice, "Do you like 269?"

me: how loud are we talking

Sean: Ironically, a 33.

On the 50 point loudness scale.

me: which is the standard scale

Sean: My new gag is saying things that are really obvious, like "On the 50 point loudness scale."

me: yeah

that is pretty hilarious

Sean: Or like, I just made a burrito in the toaster oven...

...And wrapped it in a napkin to keep my hands clean, making a sort of second burrito wrapper.

It's like, duh.

me: why didn't you just use a napkin to make the burrito in the first place?

Sean: Because I don't work at the frozen burrito factory.

To my great shame.

Tomorrow is a very exciting week for film history.

me: go on

Sean: The 31st (Tuesday?) is the tenth anniversary of the release of The Matrix.

And April 3rd (Friday maybe?) is when Fast and Furious is coming out, so in the future people will refer to it as the day when the greatest film ever made was released.

me: these are exciting times

Sean: I can still remember the plot of The Matrix.

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